Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
