You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
