Your face is a jimmy john
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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