it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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