Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
