Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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