I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
