he thought i was a dude.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
