For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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