i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
