So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
