the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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