Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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