i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
