I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's shark week go big or go home
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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