you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
