Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
