drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
