It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
