If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
