Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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