Christians are straight up FREAKS
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This is my gift to your gina
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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