i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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