I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
