dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
