You're completely useless in the revolution.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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