i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you inspire me to be a worse person
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
