last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
