sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
