Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
