singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
