i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
