He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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