i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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