hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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