I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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