i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
