Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
