Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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