okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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