Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
