I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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