she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
