go do what you do best...puke behind churches
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
