Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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