hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
