i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You were trust falling into bushes
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
