sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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