i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No subtext here. People are naked.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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