Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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