Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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