You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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